Ok I think i've mostly gotten over the whole coll thing
Im not that smart.. never have been.. won't get in.
I tried, dreamed over.
I've not done badly.. should hopefully get into an A school.

I realised that its not an easy life im choosing for myself.
Im not going to be the favourite everywhere.
There are doing to be a lot of hard moments and disappointments.. but the best thing to do is not to dwell on them.
I will not be amazing all the time..

Im hardly putting any effort in the dance classes i joined this time. I don't know why. Maybe I don't find any incentive to do so.
So how will i be good. How will i get accolades. Ive become so clumsy.
And ie stopped caring whether im good at it.
I don't mind not being a good dancer. But i mind stopping to care about how good i am at something. I mind giving up.
But its like dancing is a hobby. I don't feel like practising at home. There is no motivation.
There is no one to impress.
Its silly like that.

xxx

I should practice.. because otherwise i will be standing at the back.

Im not even feeling like going for dance class anymore.

xxx

I think its just because im not getting the steps and im not the best.
Its stupid.

xxx

I will go. And i will put in effort.

xxx

And MBA.. I hope that i get into some college from the top 15.