My dreams of getting into an IIM seem laughable.. something unachievable.. like meeting Brad Pitt in this lifetime.

6 IIm's have declared their result. They are taking past academics into consideration.. which is why im not in the running..
I was an arts student.. I didn't get 80% in the 12th. I got 62% at the time of graduation.
They will not even get to my 95.5.

So people who have gotten lesser marks than me in the CAT will get in because they had higher marks than me in school.

If every college is going to look at past academics where will I go.
I think I should seriously start considering Wellingkar and Sydenham or something.
I really don't know.. I may be left dangling somewhere.

Maybe I will go to MET.
My father said that I cannot have an ego.
Its fine.. I just hope that the quality of education is good.. thats all that matters really.
Then once I get a job I should try to be good at that.

College is just one thing.

I feel sad, but what is the point.
I just hope I get in somewhere..

My father said that I set lofty goals for myself and then get dissappointed when I don't reach them.

But I want big things.. and I don't feel like im inadequate.
Maybe that is not in accordance with reality.
Maybe everyone else can see that except for me.

But i'll still hope.. and i'll still dream big.
Im only not going to get into a foul mood when I don't get what I think I will.

Now im worried about Symbiosis.
I really did very well.(118.5)
But what if even they reject me on the basis of marks that I got in college.

Im trying again.. to study.. I wish people just took that into consideration. But I suppose there are too many people who are good.. and they need to draw a line.
But they will take people who got lesser marks than me now, in CAT.. only because they got more marks than me years ago.

But im working hard now.. am I not?

xxx

They don't tell you that life is going to be so difficult when you are younger.
Atleast I wasn't told.
I didn't have a clue.
I just sat comfortably in my middle class world.
In the 90's we didn't have many things to want.
I got most of what most kids, even those who were richer then me wanted.
It was very easy to get things.
All of us now think that is will still be very easy to get things.
But it won't.

Most of us are still just sitting around waiting for Shanta Bai, the Ayah to get things done for us.

I know that its difficult. And I am willing to work hard. Because I want things.
And this is a lesson why wanting things is good. Better than getting things or giving things to people.
Let people want things and get them for themselves.. because they can.

xxx

Thats why my friends go and study abroad.. it can be much simpler.

xxx

Just forget it. I shall hope the worst for the other results.
I am not contradicting myself. I just do this when results are imminent. It will hurt less.

Shit.
What am I to do?
It can't be possible that I won't get in anywhere right?

Im sharp..and quick.. and understand things fast. Don't people want that?
And why is it so tough for me India. Why is it so tough for even me?
With my good education.. and knowledge gained from books.. on a variety of things.
And math and logic..

India.. you make it pretty difficult. We need more good institutes.