Very often I find myself feeling that there is nothing more left to see. Yes I may do things that I haven't done before.. but how different are they anyway. I fail to see the point of existing. But I exist.. because I am scared of death and existing is what is expected of me.

I just don't find anything worth looking forward to.
I have a lot of fun when I go out.. I feel happy when I travel.. but all this is momentary.. and not all that different.

I don't find myself getting attracted to anyone anymore. I did not know it but I have become so scared of attraction that I vehemently avoid it. It makes me squirm.

I have put all my bets on work. Maybe when I have something to do.. something that occupies me the entire day, I will not feel like this. I will be too busy working. Maybe work will make me happy.

I am scared of relationships. I am scared of intimacy. I don't know why.. suddenly..