I know that it must be pretty irritating to read about someone cribbing over unimportant things like their insecurities, but to the cribber itself, its an inextricable part of their present consiousness.
So please forgive.. if not understand.

I fear that I really have fallen. One never knows how one looks. But one does not like one's recent pictures. One is hoping that they are just bad pictures. One hopes that those scars of recently bygone pimples will vanish off the face of one's face.. to leave it unblemished as before.

The pedestal is beautiful..
was beautiful.

Im thinking of maybe still putting on some weight. Maybe my profile will look better then.. less jarring.
Im not going to the dermatologist again. Im scared of putting anything on my face. The pimples have only just gone. I can't even say that this is unfair because i've enjoyed not having any pimples all these years.. but it is painful.

So I shall now hope that they are bad pictures and that those marks will go.. somehow.. with time..
I will work on everything else.. hair, teeth..

And thats it.. bad can be made better.. i will be in a better place.. so what if im not there now.
Studies are good. But I need to buy my house and I hate Bombay real estate rates.. they are killing my dream. I will need to buy a house in Delhi.
Or maybe im just going to be somewhere else.