So last night, my female friend told me that maybe im missing out on something working out with HIM because I come across as having this 'wall around me.'

I don't know about that.
I did think that I try to show like im interested.

I guess other girls are more expressive.. and since im absolutely not, HIM must feel unsure.

But what do I do?

Friend told me to message HIM, take more of an interest in his life.. make plans with HIM to meet.

So I messaged him yesterday.. thus I cannot message him again today.. I can't jump onto him.

Maybe i'll make a plan with him tomorrow.

Let it just take its time.

I think im not putting in an effort because im sort of scared of anything working out, I don't know why.

Like do I like status quo? Or am I scared that perfection will be shattered if we spend more time together. That both of us will like each other less?

I don't know what to do about it.

Actually now I do wish that he does read my blog.

So basically.. it would be nice to be in a relationship.. ive never been in a mature one.. the last time I was 16/17.
A relationship has its benefits for both of us.. it would be interesting to try it out.

I mean eventually I would like to be with someone.. and he's good.

So.. I don't know.. let it just develop and I will try and take more interest.

What if ive already lost him to someone else.

xxx

I have these negative thoughts..