I am sad.

Because of several reasons.

Firstly I am embarrased about some earlier posts.. but im too lazy to go through all of them and delete the ones I dont like. Thats why I dont want bloody Google to find me.

Secondly I should not go and read discussion forums from my Miss India days.. its very embarrassing. Reading other people's comments can be very depressing.

Thirdly, I hate heartache. Its such a bitch. The unattainable gets stuck in your head.
What is the point of complaining about the sorry state of affairs!
Fuck it!

As it is im going to end up studying outside Bombay, so what is the point?
I would have studied in Bombay had somebody wanted me to. But only my mother wants me to study in Bombay and thats not a want thats good enough. Because she is just being hyper. Shes thinks that I will destroy myself again. Anorexia.

I know I wont.

xxx

I want to find somebody to get married to some day.

No no, not find.. thats the trap.

I want to get married to somebody handsome and intelligent some day.

What is the point of just finding and then looking at him get married to someone else right?
We're not making a movie here.