I had a good time in Singapore.
The hotel I was staying at in Sentosa, the "Amara Resort" was very fancy.. nice. We had peacocks even.

I stopped counting calories for the first time in years.

I eat till I am full. I eat with people on the table. I am not throwing away food.

I want to look good. I want some power back.
I want to be wanted.. if not loved.. atleast desired.

If the fruit seller is asking my mother what happened.. if th tailor is telling me to put on weight.. if the proprieter of "Tejas Stationary Shop" is telling me.
Why do these strangers say?

Should I feel special?
Or am I simply a disaster story.. Human beings use their skill of language to talk to other human beings about disaster stories..
Its great for social interaction and passing away the time that constitutes our lives.

xxx

I see pictures on FB, of people my age.. at parties.. that I was once invited to.
Where am I?
How come im alone?
Did I make myself unlikable?

Where is my party?
Do I want to go to the party?
Frankly speaking rnt parties boring.. like what do we do anyway.. pretend to have fun.
Frankly speaking we go to stimulate our sense of touch.. within the boundaries of what is socially sanctioned. It comes down to that. We go to mate..
We pretend otherwise..
good music.. ya right..
to chill out..
sure.. to touch.. to touch.. to touch.
I know.. u know.. we don't talk about it.. we delibrately close our eyes.
We are a race of liars.