I started eating again! And I haven't put on weight!
As yet.

I won't. And if I do, I can lose it.

I feel more normal now.

xxx

Wow.
And did I do this for myself?

Well, I am happier. But I did for someone else.
I did it for someone who does not even exist in my life at the moment (or maybe he does).
I did it so that someone would like me, better, because I was more normal now. Because I had one problem less.

So a new prospective person will now meet a Malavika who eats normally, almost.
Who eats at least.

Then the new prospective hypothetical person will have one less reason to not like me.

xxx

I sometimes feel like my only ambition in life has been to find someone to get married to.
I have had short term goals.. like coming first in everything I attempt, but my one long term goal has been to find the right person and get hitched.

I don't want perfect, anymore, I just want nice, some similar interests, and a means to support present std of living.
I don't want financial worries. And im just saying at least present std of living.

xxx

Maybe I did actually start eating for myself actually. Because there is no one there to do it for. Maybe I really do love myself and don't know it as yet.