Today is my brother's birthday. Yesterday he had a party at home, in the garden. It was quite nice.. he put a durrie on the ground, cushions, pillows and lamps. Hw set it up next to this carved stone sofa set that we have next to the bamboo trees in the back garden. He even got some coal and they roasted marshmallows.
Food disturbs me.. fattening, outside food. I feel like its so wasteful to eat it.. the taste does not compensate for the calories. I pick on it like a sparrow... and even then feel sorta guilty..
Not too guilty.. because I know how to control the scale.. it is my boon and bane.

I should have interacted with my brother's friends.. they seemed like fun.. but I did not want to be around the food.. as I would not be able to control myself and eat it.
So I sat upstairs in my room and watched the TV alone.
This was how it had made me a loner.
And I think I even have self control.. I do.. I do.. so I should risk it next time..
Mistake committed but lesson learnt for the next time.. its not over..

I woke up at 3a.m. eat.. coffee and biscuits..
I don't feel guilty though.. I won't.. not until the scale moves forward..

All of the restaurant ordered chinese food is in the fridge.. oh my god.. with the twix brownie cake..
and one of my brothers friends gave me 12 donuts for a birthday present.. 12 assorted donuts.. and i've tried most of them.. but they r still they.. and I can't wait for them to be gone..