Only 6 people found me so im back.

Im a greedy girl.

Speaking of which, I have been eating too much.
I travel for work and it makes me very hungry.

I feel very guilty but I tell myself that I am not a model, and I don't need to look perfect.

xxx

There are internet forums where some people have commented about me.
Its because of Femina, people apparently track all the contestants and comment on them.

Some things were fine and some things were not flattering.

Like people saying that im not pretty enough for being Miss Universe, or maybe not pretty enough at all.

And some people saying that all the contestants suck.. and are ugly.

And some people thinking that I am fat... can you imagine.
How did they come to that conclusion?

Because when I went for Femina my hips measured 37 inches.

I lost a lot of weight after that.. I became anorexic.. like actually.. and people on the internet saw those pics and some still called me fat.. because they were referring to the Femina measurements.

I should not be reading all of that. People are weird and bored.. but I cant help myself. Its an itch.. you wanna know when someone is bitching about you.

xxx

So I realised.. that maybe im not that pretty.. maybe I just think that im prettier and smarter than I am, and that im actually quite ordinary.

Its not like im allowing myself to be judged by idiots.. its just that maybe I think I am very great without any reason.

Anyway after my illness I have no idea how I look. Whether I am attractive to people or not.
I feel ugly.

Earlier when I would walk into a room I would be so confident.. now I feel like pleb.