Company is good.
Company would distract me from me.
Too much of me for me is not entertaining.

I mean I realised that the reason for most of my stress was the thought of figuring out what to do with my time.
Just wondering what to do to fill it.

I wonder if that is the cause of all human stress.

And still, i'd rather live.
We know this world. Sensation is nice.
We don't know what the other side holds.

Family fills up your time and keeps you company. Thats a good reason for it.
All of us don't have groupies. So family is good. Its readymade company.

Notice how people who have groupies often never want to have one family.

I don't think dying would be all that bad. But its too dark.

I won't go trekking.. because im not sure if i trust myself. What if there is some sub-conscious death wish in my head. I don't want to sub-consciously do something slippery.

Its quite scary, when ur on the edge. What if u slip?
You never think that you are going to slip. But.
Recall the people who were eating dinner at the Taj one night. What do you think they thought.

xxx

A lady comes to the local grocer each saturday, and makes him bundle out packets of provisions. 5 kg rice, oil,etc.

Those who want it and look needy can wait in line.
It is not peaceful.
The places are already booked.

That's why my servant Chanda doesn't have a shot.
"I don't care anyway. We get free stuff in our basti also. And now Ramzan is coming.. we will get even more."

xxx
The begger on the wheelchair is the don. He has bought out prime space outside the big famous temple. Bought it from the guard.
All the money and food amassed by the various beggars is first deposited with them. He then distributes the earnings as he chooses.

Women have to deposit more than that which they collect.
Even the schizophrenic.
Especially the schizophrenic.

xxx

I am the teacher. And yet I still seek spproval from the children. Because we all like to be liked.

xxx