If I have to write carefully, I cannot write at all.

Anyway I am a new person, I have nothing to say. You probably have a lot of friends. You probably are in a relationship or have just recently gotten out of one or are seeing one "bear tropical fruit" in the future.

I am not you. I feel different, odd. I don't know how it came about that I don't really have too many friends. I guess I don't know how to do this. And where do I meet people. Like in college I never managed to make like hanging out, always sitting with them friends. I just had lots of acquaintances. I would spend my free time in the lab or library. None of the men interested me. Ok, I thought one is cute. But on futher probing, into his nature, I lost interest. Still I used to flirt with him because like you need to flirt to feel sexy once in a while.

Anyway for all my high handedness he would not have been interested in me anyway. I did not look well in college. At another time he would have treated me differently.

Girls my age are getting married.
But like how do you guys do it? Friends and relationships? Where do you meet them? I am only unlikeable I think. Like I meet my friends.. old ones from school.. and we sit and have coffee.. talk.. once in a blue moon.

A friend of mine now only meets me with her boyfriend. Its like they are married. Its understandable. Thats how it will be like in a couple of years. All couples. Not one, but two. Hum do, har pal ek.

We talk about films. What these stars really do.. hahaha. I keep with the spirit and participate. I am trying to be social ever since I recently realised that people and social relationships are very important.

Somewhere there is a disconnect. We are different. I don't believe in ghosts or watch Salman Khan films. I think you should just ignore him, but you can't... we humans are suckers for dramatic stimuli in our lives. I would have just ignored him.

"X... he's too low class for you. I am sure he's from some chawl or some place in Borivali originally." But attention is attention.

Thats why I am how I am.. alone. I ignore the human race. They hate me. Why should I think I am better. I am not. I am shit.

I know love. I know. But please don't give me shit. Like don't lie.. speak plainly.. then we can begin to have a conversation.
And I take time. Like the only friendships I have had have been with people who made the effort to know me.